Leaving Jesus behind.

This is one of those blogs where I’m not sure how I feel about writing my feelings down.

Where I’m conflicted about whether I want to draw undue attention or criticism on myself, or even for that matter if I want to unravel the whole story as to why I’ve left Jesus in my rear view mirror!

However, I do feel that sharing your story or life online means that sometimes you need to share the hard bits aswell, after all life is certainly no fairytale.

So, here goes!

You see I was raised Catholic in Ireland, and what that meant for me was attending mass each and every Sunday, every church holiday, every church occasion i.e weddings, funerals, communions etc etc and so on and so forth.

I never, ever enjoyed going to mass, I don’t think many people do or did to be honest, but I was always uncomfortable with this notion of a man standing on an altar with 10’s of people chanting after him, it just never sat well with me.

However, this didn’t mean that I didn’t believe nor pray to God or Jesus or whoever I thought within the Catholic list of saints would listen to me.

Our wedding day (in a church)

I had a fascination with churches, loved them,loved the peace, the comfort and the architecture of them, to some extent I still do, and I don’t think that’s a contradiction but more so an appreciation of architecture.

I would wear religious medallions when I was pregnant with Noah, had prayers in my wallet and got blessed by monks on both pregnancies.

Noah’s christening when he was one

Sophie was christened, we got married in a church everything that you’re meant to do as a Catholic.

Yes! I was holy!

And then I had Noah.

And then I spent more time then I ever thought in children’s hospitals.

I saw the suffering of so many families, children and those around them.

And I got angry.

Really damn angry.

With this make believe person in the sky.

I realised that I had been conditioned all my life to believe that there was some superior being in the sky with super powers that he only used when he felt like it, and certainly not to ease the suffering of children and their families who were going through the unimaginable.

So I said goodbye to Jesus then, but it hasn’t been that easy.

Sophie’s confirmation which was her choice.

I’ve struggled with the whole life after death and I still want to believe there’s a heaven, it’s hard to let good of the good points of Catholicism and then.

You see,my children were going and are going to a Catholic primary school, and that means that Catholic traditions such as communion and confirmation are opt out rather then opt in.

We got Sophie her communion, we got Noah christened one year after he was born much to my displeasure, which I didn’t express at the time.

We argued over Sophie getting her confirmation to which she adamantly refused to be left out of the celebration, and this was hard for me, and I’ll tell you why.

You see from what I’ve noticed the large majority of Catholic’s here in Ireland aren’t practicing,however when it comes to the Catholic traditions ie weddings, christenings etc etc for one day only we go all out.

And this year as Noah went into second class (the communion class) I finally said we have got to stop this ridiculousness.

Noah opted out of his communion and it was such a relief off my shoulders.

Our one and only communion picture

Yes, of course it’s hard to break tradition, and yes you might disappointment the die hard Catholic’s in the family, but at what stage do you become an adult with your own family with your own decisions?

Amazingly none of our family questioned it one bit,they get it!

The church has lost so much respect and credibility in the last number of years that I do envision in the near future it’ll be a opt in policy rather then an opt out one and personally I can’t wait for that.

My children even Sophie, now have the opportunity to choose their own path when it comes to religion.

If they want to be Catholic when they’re older then that’s fine, they can be whatever they want.

We’ve all got to choose our own paths in this life and as long as it’s a happy and good one then we’ve already won, just remember that!

All our love

Our Wheely Big Journey

17 thoughts on “Leaving Jesus behind.

  1. Great blog! I feel the same way about religion, both my husband and I are agnostic. We got married in a civil ceremony in the beautiful Muckross Park Hotel but we did get both our boys christened. Our first was born in 2016 and it was still the requirement (kinda) that baptised kids got a school place but I regret doing it for our second last year (although I’m mad about fairness so if the first got a party out if it so would the second! 😂). I was my sister’s sponsor last Thursday and the mass started out ‘let God pray for our sins’. That’s what I hate the most, that we are automatically sinners for being human! I think you are the most ‘real’ person on the internet and I love your family! 😊

    • I think that’s a great point about sinners , I really think the department of education need to look at policies etc but I think it will happen sooner then later x

  2. Great read!!! Such a difficult one to try and work out and to maybe just decide what is right. But you do what’s right for you! And well done making that call

  3. Well written. There is no right or wrong, it’s all about how you feel. It will make you feel better fir writing and sharing. You might be surprised at how many may feel as you do. We all have to make a choice fir what is right for each of us. Good on ya

  4. Well said Sharon. I wish my children could opt out of the sacraments but being a teacher in the school they will attend would cause major issues for me. The sooner sacraments are taken out of schools the better.

    • Great post Sharon. Definitely sacraments like communion and confirmation should be done outside of school. I guarantee you there would be a huge drop in numbers receiving these sacraments if that was the case. In rural areas it is more difficult to have your child miss out in the whole experience and i wish i had your courage to do that when my kids were younger. Keep church and school seperate!

      • It’s certainly very hard but the tides are changing I feel out of Noah’s class of 10 there are 3 including him not getting communion which certainly made the decision a lot easier for us.

    • A great read, I agree whole heartedly and look forward to when schools make the communion and confirmation opt in things, maybe more thought will be put into it then instead the way it currently is that I child chooses not to receive them and being the talk of the place for being ‘awkward’. I personally am angry at god, I have been since my son was born with complications and died 4 days later 8 years ago. What type of god would let an innocent baby suffer and then take him away from a family that so desperately wanted and needed him.

      • I’m so sorry for your loss and I would have the very same feelings x

  5. I completely get you…. Spent a long time in children’s hospital too.. Our outcome wasn’t so good… Fair play to standing up for what you believe.xxxxx

  6. Hi Sharon, great post, thanks for directing me to it! Both my husband and I have similar Irish upbringings, with his schooling being run by various religious organisations…who were quick and happy to deal out beatings. We had a humanist wedding which, after a few queries from one side, both sides loved. However when we stuck to our way, and didn’t christen our first born we were met with hostility from the in laws. We are proud to have stuck to our guns as it were, and have had 2 beautiful humanist naming days for both our kids. Wishing you and your family the best!

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